But you don’t look sick 

Arent you lucky!! This is one of my regular # to use on Instagram #butyoudontlooksick. I see it used a lot too. Its something as a chronic illness community you hear all the time. Some people take offense to it and I understand why. It can be said in a way of belittling of your condition.

But I choose to show that side and to hell what people think.

But you dont look sick!!!

I use instagram to show my favorite makeup, my selfies on a good day when I have my make up looking good. And no I don’t look like I’ve anything wrong with me at first glance.

Sharing my favourite products on Instagram

And I do like that. I love that power of makeup. That I can cover up my sick pallor with products.
Don’t get me wrong I was a beauty therapist for 10 years , I worked a lot with make up I know some skills 😉

I can fake the healthiest glow like you wouldn’t believe. 

I spent 8hrs on ivs in hospital just before this. Fake it with make up 😂

But that’s what it is products and some skill. It transforms me into the old me as I look in the mirror and transform.

There’s an expectation around people with chronic illness that they are meant to appear a certain way. To look ill so people know they are Ill, make their sickness visible as much as they can. Fill their Facebook and Instagram with pictures of the worst days while they are suffering. And I can understand that. People expect miserable and sick. But what if you don’t want to play that role.

Always be yourself. Dont let others pressure you

The mentality when someone sees you dressed up with make up and looking well so that must mean you are well is frustrating. They dont realise what you’ve gone through the whole day to get outside for that moment they saw you with make up on or what the previous weeks.have been like. 

They don’t think bout the injections, morphine and oxygen I’d be on all day just to have an hour or two outside and then I’ll suffer so badly afterwards. Because while I’m out I’ll have make up on and I’ll have covered all traces of earlier suffering. 

But i don’t need to validate my illness with how I look. I don’t need to look ill to validate an invisible illness. If people aren’t intelligent enough to know that the difference between make up and genuine improvement then let them off.

I know I am Ill, my doctors know I’m Ill. I go to them with make up on and they can see through it if things arent good and they know when I’m.genuinely improved.My mother can see through it too. When you know the signs of my illness well enough you’ll still see it through make up.

When intercranial pressure hits , fluid builds up around my eyes , my face changes colour as i start to become hypovolemic

 I’ll still always go for the “but you don’t look sick” look if I’m going anywhere. Which actually isn’t very often. I take the you look great as a compliment , because I know my make up skills have worked.

I didnt cure myself, its just some nice chanel foundation

Because this is another love that has become very difficult for me. With the instability in my neck I find it hard to do my make up without pain. I need like a portable mirror with a light so I can do it lying in bed I think

By the time I get to just putting moisturizer on my hands are so sore.

But youve to suffer  for your vanity 😂 I used to wear make up everyday. I don’t now because I physically can’t put it on everyday but when I do I make sure I look like the healthiest sick person you’ve ever seen 😉

Last week leaving London after 40 cranial injections. Bronzer, highlighter, bright lip and turquoise eyeliner = healthy bright looking me but dying on the inside

So.if I’m only getting outside once in two months dam straight I’m using that make up collection I have on my face and using the best products then as I don’t want them expiring.

So who ever I put out by only posting pictures of good make up days and reflecting that image.

Now you might understand its a positive action and it doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong with me or I’m anyway trying to reflect badly on someone else.

This is just me it always has been and I won’t let that be taken by this illness too.

I’ll be posting reviews of products that I splurge on when I travel to London or get online and are easy to use too. 

❤Z

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